I'm Not Gay Anymore....Thank God!!!

 I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine this morning and we were discussing a former classmate who claims to have been "cured" of his homosexuality by God. Now this topic has been argued before time and time again but I never really paid it any attention until I was talking about it today. And I'm well aware that I'm about to piss off some people but oh well...you are more than welcome to click that "X" in the upper right hand corner.

Now the only reason this topic is even relevent to me is because I've dated guys who have either claimed God saved them after we stopped dating or blamed me because once I came into the picture, I "corrupted" them! I don't know how I feel about either claims. Like was dealing with me so difficult that you thought it'd be easier to get some pussy?

I will admit, the guy who I corrupted...I did it on purpose. Lol. He told me he was bisexual before but God had helped him rid himself of those  "demons", and for years he fought me but one day he finally stepped out of denial and we ended up dating.

My question however is, are you really serious? I'm sorry but I just don't believe in it. But let me clarify, I am in no way trying to challenge or doubt the power of God. I have my own personal faith and relationship with my creator and it's very strong but as far as I'm concerned, God made you the way he intended for you to be. Do NOT question his judgement and decisions. You're own personal issues with your sexuality is just that. Don't say God doesn't want you to be gay or he doesn't love you if you are a homosexual. That just feeds into the horrible discrimination that the gay community has faced forever and in my opinion, it gives God a bad name. Don't do that because you are uncomfortable with what you see as a "demon".

Which leads me to question those people who say God "cured" them. Now the guys I dated who dealt with this situation, have both gone on to dating men again...so were they cured? Or was it their own personal self will that helped them supress their attraction and prevent them from acting on their temptations and impulses? I'm gonna say that was it.

What do you guys think?

VIDEO PREMIERES: Mariah Carey- "Up Out My Face" & "Angels Cry"

Finally Finally Finally!

The video premieres for Mariah Carey's latest singles have finally come!

The first one being one of my faves "Up Out My Face". The song features hip-hop It girl Nicki Minaj. I'm not crazy about the remix but I like the video and it has my boy B.Scott in it so I'm happy!

The other is "Angel's Cry" featuring my baby Ne-Yo!! I think I'm more excited about anything new from him than I am for the actual video. But it's cool. The song is great and the video is cute too! It reminds me of the "One Sweet Day" video back in the day.

 Check em out!!! And be sure to get Mariah's remix album coming out in March!

NEW MUSIC : Christina Aguilera - "Spotlight"

With the upcoming April release of her fifth studio album "Bionic", Christina Aguilera is definitely someone who I've been waiting to hear new music from! So naturally, I was elated to listen to the new track "Spotlight" leaked today. It's been said that the track will be on the album but I doubt it. It's off the soundtrack to her new movie "Burlesque" in which she co-stars with singer/actress Cher.

So as always, check it out and let know what ya think!!

KeKe Wyatt Interview w/ Shuddup.com

So many people have been like "Yo you are really on this KeKe Wyatt chick!", YOU DAMN STRAIGHT! I have been waiting for this album for years! Tracks from Soul Sista still get played on a daily basis! So please believe that I'm hype and will be up bright and early on February 23rd to buy the new album Who Knew? 

At any rate, I just saw a new interview with KeKe from the site Shuddup.com. KeKe speaks candidly about the new album, her "snapped" moment when she stabbed her husband, being labeled as Avant's  "duet girl" as well as upcoming projects and who she'd like to SHUDDUP! So check out the interview and be sure to get that album!!

KeKe Wyatt Talks to Shuddup.com about "Who Knew" & Domestic Violence from shudduptv on Vimeo.

To Those Who Wanna Know What's Going On.....

Hey Guys,

I know alot of you have been following my status updates on facebook and I've gotten quite a few messages and calls asking what's wrong so I just wanted to address the situation while I had a little time.

Without giving too much detail, the situation is this. Someone very close to my heart is currently in the hospital being treated for a extremely severe illness. I've been back and forth to the hospital for the last few days to be with them so if you've texted, called, emailed etc. and I haven't responded, it's not because I'm being rude or dismissive, I've just been really trying to deal with all that's going on and be supportive to this person.

Here's where I stand right now though:

I have a overwhelming amount of love coming from family and friends. Family who I honestly haven't had much of a relationship with for most of my life have become a major part of my life in such a short time and I'm forever grateful for that. I am surrounded by positivity and strength. Their strength gives me strength. In addition to that, I've noted these two people before, but my two best friends Matthew and Tiffany have been my steady support system through this all. With daily encouragement and positive wishes, I find solace in them whenever I need it. Whether I need to vent, cry, laugh or just take a break from everything, I know I can always depend on them to be by my side.

It's such a tough time because I've never been in a position where I had to deal with the thought of losing someone I love so unconditionally. To know that someone I would quickly give my life for is so passionately fighting for their own hurts my heart to extent I never believed possible. But I am trying my best to stay strong and optimistic. I will say it's hard though.

On a different note though, and you all know I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't say this, I must admit I'm  a bit upset. Pissed...beyond pissed actually. It's so absolutely ridiculous how very immature and petty some people can be. Very few people know the actual details of the situation, and those people know because these are people I have trusted a great deal and I'm rather annoyed that due to a disagreement or difference in words,  there are people who wouldn't even think to at least say "Hey, how are you feeling?". Regardless of how you feel about someone at that moment, when you call yourself a "friend", when they are hurting I would think you'd at least lend some sort of support. It just astonishes me. It really makes me reevaluate the people I   bring into my life.

With that being said, I want to thank everyone who took the time to send words of encouragement and support. None of it goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I love you all very much!

Blame It On Me? (Late Night Vent)

I will be the first to admit that I love getting a rise out of people...I say and do all types of shit to get reactions and responses from people. I won't lie. LOL. I just like observing behaviors of people when they are in a unusual predicament. But when it comes to guys I'm involved with, I'm always very straight forward. I say what I feel, and I mean what I say. Period.

Now if I tell a guy "I like you, I want to be with you" etc, I mean it and I'm gonna do what I gotta do to assure them that I'm serious. I except the same. If you tell me you wanna be with me and you want me to take you seriously, then give me a reason to do so. That always seems to be the issue though and it annoys the hell outta me. So much that I've recently thought to myself  "I wonder if they say certain shit just to get a reaction outta me...to see what I'm gonna say or do." and it's pathetic really. But that's what I've dealt with in the recent months.

Last week, a guy I've known for years calls me and asks me what's going on with the dude I was talking to the last time he and I spoke. I tell him it's over because dude was on his bullshit. Swearing up and down that "we" meant so much to him but he wasn't willing to put forth the time and effort necessary to maintain or progress. We'll talk about that dude in a minute though. So the guy says "well thats cause you need to stop dealin with them other guys and let me show you what a real dude is cause you've been sleeping on me"...first of all, that line in itself is so typical. I've been "sleeping" on you? No, I've been bypassing you by because you exhibit the same bullshit qualities that most young  boys (and i do mean BOYS) that I encounter possess. So of course he swears up and down that I'm wrong about him and I should give him a shot. I think to myself...hell, the dude I've been trying to be with for months is doing him, ain't thinkin bout me...I'm almost positive he's talking to someone else...fuck it, I'll play along....and what do you know? I was right. He was about the same shit......and had the nerve to get mad at me cause I called him on it. Oh well...

So on to the guy who I've been dealing with for sometime now, this thing between he and I has been a total rollercoaster from Day 1 but we (and by we, I mean I) kept trying to fix it and work it out. We'd stop talking and come back to it, stop talking and come back to it. I think both of us were getting tired of the up and down so we had what seemed like productive conversation in which we came up with a solution. Things were good...for the time being. All of a sudden, we barely talked, couldn't get in touch with homie....you're never around, claiming you're working but I can go to your Twitter page any time of day and see you going back and forth minute by minute ALL DAY with who ever. I'm like fuck it, I don't care. I'm done. But friends say talk to him about it..so I address it. Ask him what's up, tell me if he wants us to be done say so, but if he's gonna keep saying he wants us to work he needs to step his shit up. As usual, he acts like he's so shocked, like I've said something so unfathomable and he has no idea where it's coming from.

I try my best to keep things cordial after we decide that it's not working. But now it's being made out like it was my fault that it's over. Like homie, you decided our fate....you ended us in reality so don't come at me feeling some kinda way when I've decided to wash my hands of the situation. Talking about it's so hard to move on and all that but it really shouldn't be since you didn't really care from the jump and was doing you the whole time. That just annoys me because so many come out say how different they are and then do the same things typical and basic dudes do. If you're gonna say one thing..do that. But if you change the program, don't get mad when the outcome isn't what you thought it'd be......

Oh well, this has gotten really long...lol oops.

and most of it probably makes no sense but I was angry sooo deal with it!

night!

New Music: Monica - "Everything (To Me)"

Check out new music by songstress Monica. The track is called "Everything (To Me)".

I kinda like it but I honestly hope it's not on the new album Still Standing.  I love the tracks "One In A Lifetime" and "Taxi" but this one...I don't know, I think I'm bored. You be the judge....