The Shock Of Being Single Again.....

You ever break up with someone and for days after it, you feel fine. No tears...no sadness...nothing. You are fine and moving on with your life....then that one day, reality slaps the SHIT out of you! That was me last night! Omg I was a wreck! I couldn't sit still...couldn't seem to relax. I had this really uneasy and anxious feeling. I could NOT figure out what it was for the life of me. Then I realized it....it was finally setting in that I wasn't involved with anyone anymore....I had just "broken up" with someone. lol.

I called my girl Kayla and she was asking me if I was sad and all that...but I wasn't. Not at all actually. It wasn't a "omg I miss him" feeling cause that couldn't be farther from the truth. But she made me realize that it was the feeling of being single again...the shock. Even though he and I were never official or "exclusive" (Day26 moment!) as soon as she said that, I knew why I was feeling that way! It was about 12 or 1 am and I realized that was the time where I had gotten used to being on the phone with him or texting him and last night....I wasn't. It was just me and I had NO one to talk to! I mean I had friends I could've talked to but it wasn't the same. I had gotten used to always having someone to talk to at night and having one person who I was getting my attention and affection from. Now I don't have that anymore so its like...im back to square one.

Oh well! I had no business dealin wit his ass anyway....when you do more arguing with someone than you do anything else BEFORE yall even officially become "together"...thats a MAJOR red flag! Sooooo better now than never! No sadness over here....

o0o0o....last week I wrote a post about a friend of mine and how our friendship had kinda went sour over numerous things Well....he read the post and we ended up talkin about it and kinda reconciling. We seem to have grown alot and seem to be on the same page with alot of things now. We shared somethings that I hope will bring us closer than we were before. We've always been close but the conversation we had that night was pretty awesome! What I neglected to mention was the he was one of my ex's....gotta admit, talking to him and being around him again kinda stirred up some old feelings. Won't even lie....never got over him. We actually kinda talked about gettin back together, but I was dealing with the dude and he's talkin to someone too so that probably won't happen. :-/ *tear* lol

Let me clarify something though...when i say "dealing" with someone, it usually means we're talking or trying to get to the point in which we're together. The guy that I just let go, we were "dealing" with each other. He never made it to being my dude. Very few do....very few will. I've been in three relationships including the one I just mentioned. One of my friends mentioned to me that it seems like I jump from relationship to relationship....NO. I'm toooo picky for that and my standards are too high....I just don't see the point in closing the door on opportunity....gotta give people a chance and see what happens so when someone catches my attention, I go with it until I see reason to let it go or make it official...

Aiight well...im tired now! Going to bed...just needed to rant. NIGHTY NIGHTY!!

-SS