Such a random turn of events......

These last two weeks have been...a roller coaster to say the least! One minute things are amazing and almost instantly they turn to shit. I know this week was Thanksgiving and you're supposed to reflect on what you're most thankful for, but I truly found myself asking "Why?". I try to live life as optimistic and positive as possible. I'm always the one trying to resolve conflicts and make things happy for everyone else and I keep getting slapped in the face with drama. So why? Why do these things continue to happen to me?

Let's recap, shall we?

I finally start to let go of things in that past that have stopped me from trusting and dating. I start to find my way back to love and what happens to that? It's snatched away from me! The relationship I was putting so much work into just vanishes. Why? What did I do to lose that?

I take the high road and start rebuilding relationships with family members that I haven't spoken to much due to petty stuff, things are going great and everyone is happy. What happens next? BOTH my parents end up in the hospital with the damn swine flu and I have to watch them suffer to fight off this thing. Why? What did THEY do to deserve this??

Now I find out one of my friends has been in a car accident. Apparently a minor one, but still!

It's truly one thing after another and it's driving me nuts!

Now this is all happening around the holiday's. The time when you are supposed to be happy! In love, comfortable and spending time building amazing memories with the ones who you care about. I don't have that. My family doesn't have that. It sucks and I'm so angry about it!

But on the flip side, I am forever grateful that I've been blessed enough to be surrounded by great friends and family who always look out for me and make sure I'm alright. They help  me deal with life's day to day events and push me towards positivity and I love them for that. I think that's why I was bummed about Thanksgiving. That's the day I look forward to most because you really are able to reflect on how these people affect you. I mean if you ask any of them, I let them know how much I love and appreciate them on a pretty regular basis. Even for minor things, it's important for them to know how much they mean to me because CLEARLY, you can have them one day and  the next they can be gone. I'm not talking death. But  in terms of them just not being there. My parents are NOT in their room right now...i take that for granted. Tiff could NOT be right around the corner for me to drop by unannounced whenever I need to hide from life. Things like that are so important and should be cherished...I don't know.

Since I no longer have any idea where I was going with this, I'll stop! I think I just needed to vent!

HAHA!

 

UNDERGROUND REVIEW: Wayne - "Reformation"

After being unable to stop singing the songs all day I felt compelled to let you guys know about the highly anticipated release from underground artist and YouTube fan favorite Wayne a.k.a. Wayne Da Star. His first mixtape titled “Reformation” was released recently and it’s apparent that this 21 year old country boy is so much more than what’s at the surface.

Reformation is undoubtedly one of the most creative and cohesive pieces of work that I’ve ever heard from an underground artist. It tells the story of a man who is going through the stages of losing love and overcoming heartbreak. Sounds typical, right? Guy breaks up and he’s so sad and he wants her back…all that mess. But it’s not like that. Reformation explores every emotion that comes with having to let go of the one you’ve loved for so long.

It starts with the track “One Favor” where Wayne is questioning why things have played out the way they have and wishing his girl would stay and try to work things out, it’s the “Please Don’t Go” track. But then there’s the up tempo “No More”, which happens to be my favorite on the cd. On the track listeners will surely be able to relate to the feeling of giving all you can to a relationship but being unappreciated and getting tired to the point where you’re just like “I can’t take no more!”

LISTEN UP!! 
(Right Click To Open Links In New Page)

"No More (Giving Up)"

"Breakdown"

"Never Letchu Go"

 The lead single “The One” shows Wayne’s versatility as he transitions from R&B to Pop. On this one, Wayne reflects on the relationship and finds himself asking the question “What to do when you know you’re the one?”  Being 100% honest, I don’t love the track. While it’s apparent that this guy has amazing talent as a songwriter, this song doesn’t showcase his vocals in a positive light. It sounds badly produced and his vocals are underdeveloped.

That’s pretty much the only downfall of this mixtape, while it has great songs that listeners won’t be able to help but sing with and relate to, Wayne clearly lacks the vocal training to really solidify a spot in the entertainment industry at this point. Many of the tracks highlight his potential vocally, others fall flat, one being his first single.

However, there is redemption at the end with the track “Never Letchu Go”. This particular song stands out and exudes the emotional connection and vocal performance that makes me really want to see what’s next for this talented artist.  Finally, the cd ends with the song “Promise Me”, it’s the perfect conclusion to the story. I can see a lot of people getting misty eyed from this track! Overall, Reformation is a great first effort from Wayne and well worth the listen.

Download "Reformation"  here

&

Check Wayne Out!

www.myspace.com/waynedastar

www.twitter.com/waynedastar

www.youtube.com/waynedastartv

TV Spotlight: American Music Awards 2009 (Performances)

Okay so the American Music Awards went off about an hour ago....

Some interesting moments but overall it was pretty bad. Maybe because I don't care for award shows much. So while everyone else will be doing reviews...I could be doing something better...

Whitney is still on crack....Shakira was biting on Beyonce and Taylor Swift SHOULD have been Kanye'd and Alicia Keys need to let go of that purple lipstick....

There goes my review!

However, there were some pretty good performances so check out my faves!

Janet Jackson

Mary J. Blige

Jennifer Lopez

Rihanna

Really Though?

Okay so I've always been the friend that everyone comes to when they have issues. No matter what it is, everyone knows they can come talk to me and I'll be there to listen and give advice etc. I love that. I love that my friends trust me enough to confide in me. I think that's one of the things I'm most proud of about myself. I'm a damn good friend. Period. I bend over backwards all the time to make sure my friends are happy because that's how seriously I take the word. It's like "love"...I'm not gonna tell some random person I love them if I don't mean it, just like I'm not gonna call just anyone a "friend". I take it very seriously.

So with that being said, I'm really feeling some type of way tonight because tonight was the second time this week that I've been snapped for trying to be a friend and show that I care. Tonight had me really upset because this particular friend is one that truly means  a lot to me and I value their friendship to a pretty high level. But I'll get to that later. Earlier this week, I hit up one of my friends like "Hey, how are you feeling? I haven't heard from you...", the response i got was "Ummm aren't you friends with _____".

WHOA!!! WHAT?!?

Now me and this person have been friends for YEARS and I've always been there for him through any and everything he's been through. Stuck by him when no one else would and you're telling me you haven't spoken to me because you aren't fond of my involvement with someone else? Huh?

I could see if my relationship with this person was taking away from you and I was neglecting one for the other, but I STILL hit you up regularly and ask if you're okay and all the normal stuff so our friendship hasn't changed but because I've begun a friendship with someone else, you now have an attitude with me and can't return my calls?!

Then tonight, I'm speaking to another friend of mine for the first time in a few days...just trying to see whats going on and see how they are along with some other things. The majority of the conversation was cool...some things were cleared up and we were straight. That is until, I reiterated a statement that I assume they didn't feel as though I should have....so they snap! All of a sudden I'm gettin cussed at....obviously I don't really understand why this is happening so in my mind i'm like "WTF just happened...." soo i update my facebook status with the same message "WTF just happened..." to which they respond something along the lines of "Here we go with the status updates.....blah blah blah" as if what I said was some kind of attack against them.

At any rate...I leave and go out for a minute and while im out I call my sister and tell her what happened and I'm like "Yo it ain't even that serious, I'll probably call him tomorrow and try to clear the air once things kinda settle down cause I don't like the way this all happened...", damn if i don't get home and see that he's pretty much tried to clown me to a former friend of mine. (FACEBOOK IS KINDA THE DEVIL IN SOME WAYS! LOL) The chick said somethin like "they need to grow up" to which he responded  "Ya peoples was like that before I came onto the scene..."

REALLY THOUGH! That's how you view me? We've been through all that we have and now you're trying to play me like I'm some immature kid? I've done everything I could to be the best friend to you that I could and now because you're mad you wanna take digs at me?! I won't even lie...that shit HURT! Because as i said before, I really do value this person and their friendship so for them to put me out there was kinda foul to me. Once again...realize that I take friendship very seriously.

All this because I was trying to communicate and work things out and even after it went down I was STILL trying to work things out.........this shit makes no sense to me!

What should I do yall? I'm not one to hold grudges but I will say that the way all this went down kinda hurts so should I try to talk to them and work things out or wait for them to come to me????

JANET: NUMBER ONES AVAILABLE NOW!!!!! + ABC Special & AMA AWARDS!

It's Officially November 17th!!

Yall know what that means?!

YOU BETTER!

JANET's Greatest Hit's Album "Number Ones" is available to purchase NOW! liiike RIGHT NOW!

It includes her latest single "Make Me" along with all the other tracks that have caused us to fall in love with Ms. Janet! "If", "Control", "Nasty", "That's The Way Love Goes"....you know you wanna fly out the door and find whatever Wal-Mart is open right now so you can get in to it!

ALSO! As i posted before Janet will be doing a ABC special with Robin Roberts that will air THIS WEDNESDAY!!!! 1 Hour with Janet! Who could ask for more?!?! Ummm ME! That's who!

On Sunday, Janet will be kicking off this years American Music Awards!!!

I'm SOOO EXCITED! You all MUST support Janet!!!

VIDEO PREMIERE: Beyonce- "Video Phone"

Okay after the longest wait ever, we finally have the official video of  Beyonce's "Video Phone" featuring Lady Gaga. I digg the video alot! It's playful and fun! A lot of colors and different costumes. It's cute. Extremely different from what we've been getting from Beyonce as of late..which had me SO BORED! The black and white HAD TO GO! The "Video Phone"...ehh video...is kinda reminiscent of "Check On It" which i LOVED. Downfall though...LADY GAGA! Ugh! Beyonce was on some real sex kitten stuff in the video and it was hot! The ghetto girl look with the scarf and all, i loved...but when Lady Gaga came into the picture...I was DONE! The routine they did together..she didn't need to do cause she is gross! The woman is UGLY....let me repeat, UGLY! I'm not really feeling her on this song, although I've had their song "Telephone"  on repeat for the last few days....anyway, check it out!

Your Lovescope - Today, Nov. 16, 2009

A conspicuous dearth of communication with a current romantic partner could have you in a blue funk, wondering if maybe your friend no longer wants you; that it's all over. Chances are this isn't the case, but something is making you believe the worst of everything. Your friend may be having career problems, and thus could also be feeling rather downhearted. Don't jump to conclusions. Hang in there.

.....lets hope this shit is right. 

Janet Video Compilation!!

Amazon.com is promoting Janet HARD! I love it!

They are doing an exclusive presale for her Number Ones album (Available on November 17th!).

Check out this video compilation they put together of all of Janet's best material!!

VIDEO: [PINK,USHER,MYA DANCE TRIBUTE TO JANET!]

It's Janet month on the site! Gotta love Ms.Janet!

I came across one of my favorite performances EVER. It was done by Pink, Usher, & my girl Mya! They all did a dance tribute to Janet at MTV's Icon series in 2001. Janet was the first to be given this honor! Check it out cause they did a amazing job!

Natural Progression....

After dealing with the last guy, I said I wasn't gonna discuss my love life anymore and for the most part I haven't. Not through blogs anyway. But I've had alot on my mind about the current situation I've found myself in so I decided to vent a little.

Sooo here's an update for ya! Lately, a friend of mine who I was once somewhat involved with in the past came back into the picture. I was so apprehensive about getting into things with him again because the last time didn't end so well and it took us a while to get back to being friends. However, I'd come to the conclusion that it took us so long to be friends because neither of us really wanted that to be our title. So we've been seeing each other and things have been wonderful. I don't think I've been this happy in a while. However, I find myself getting frustrated and rather stressed out because I feel like we should be moving a bit quicker than we are. For us to have known each other for the amount of time that we have, things are going...slow. Not that slow is bad, but I think what bothers me more is that he seems to be so hesitant and guarded from me. He has his reasons and I know them so I try to be understanding and patient but that gets really hard at times.

Anyway, tonight I found myself REALLY evaluating our entire situation and I've come to this conclusion.

The way we went about being involved with each other before was totally WRONG. In sooo many ways! The timing was just wrong. So now it's like getting to know him all over again the RIGHT way, if that makes sense.  Before we never had the opportunity to "date". Movies, dinner, chill at the crib and just talk etc...that NEVER happened. So the way I look at it, NOW is the time where all those things come into play. And I'm excited about it, maybe too excited because there are times where I see him kinda shying away from it all. But like I said, he has his reasons, but it leaves a sense of disappointment. However, like I was saying, after kinda thinking about and comparing how we were THEN to how we are NOW, there's a MAJOR difference. And being as though it's kinda like we're starting from scratch, I guess we're pretty much where we should be....probably further since our feelings are already pretty evolved.

But then it's like alot of those things don't really matter because as frustrated as I get with him for his hesitance, I can't deny how happy the dude makes me. When I'm with him, it's like I'm in a totally different world and everything's okay. There's complete sense of comfort and safety with him. I feel like a 13 year old girl cause I've been talking about him to anyone who'd listen for about 3 weeks now...

And with the fact that he's so guarded, he's also very open with me. He's trying. I know he's trying and that alone makes me happy and hopeful for what's to come.

I think the lesson is, even  if things are going the way I want them to go at that moment, I can't force someone to measure their comfort level by mine. I have to allow them to naturally progress to the point in which we can both be content and move to the next chapter together. It's difficult. The "baby steps" theory is soooooooo difficult! But i think it'll be worth it...hell i've been waiting two years now..it BETTER be worth it! lol

Rihanna on 20/20

Okay, so as I'm sure millions of people just witnessed, Rihanna FINALLY spoke out on the Pre-Grammy situation that occurred between her and Chris Brown. I don't really care for the situation anymore and as anyone who has read previous posts knows, I am a total Chris Brown supporter but I will give my opinions since everyone else is. Lol.

A lot of people that I spoke with as the interview was being aired felt like Rihanna was lying on Chris. Personally, I don't believe that. I do believe she was being honest in what she was saying. There were times where her story didn't really line up so I do believe she might have altered things a bit more for her benefit. There were moments where body language just kinda seemed like she was only agreeing with Diane Sawyer was saying just because it worked in her favor. But for the most part I do believe she was being honest. I actually commend her for not blasting Chris as badly as she could have. She handled herself in a very mature way which makes me somewhat respect her again.

According to Rihanna, the incident was the first time Chris had actually hit her and as most of us knew already it was caused by a verbal argument over a text message from one of Chris former girlfriends. Many times she stated that she just wished it would stop and that it seemed as if Chris had blacked out during the entire episode which from what I know about domestic violence, that seems to be typical for the abuser to blackout.

Was she at fault? No. As much as I dislike Rihanna and I'll get to that in a moment, I would never say a victim of domestic violence is at fault. Whether its a man/woman or a man/man or whatever the case may be, within a romantic relationship there is absolutely NO reason for physical violence. There's no reason for it to escalate to that point. So i will not say she was at fault and I do agree with her in saying that Chris needs to "grow up" and "accept responsibility as a MAN".

I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible because I am a fan of Chris and not so much one of Rihanna. I'll tell anyone anyday, I think she should get hit by a bus. But one thing that did really upset me about what she said when the topic of her going back to him was that she ultimately ended the relationship once she realized the effect she had on many of this generations young women. That pissed me off and THIS is why I don't bang with Rihanna anymore. I feel like for her to say she is held at such a high standard that she chose not go back to Chris because of how much girls looked up to her and then to still walk around in damn near NO clothing...it's very hypocritical to me. I am NOT a fan of her image, I believe it to be extremely trashy and inappropriate. I for one would not want my sister to look up to  Rihanna as a role model. When she first came out, I loved her! The album "A Girl Like Me" was my ish! But as of late, I lost major respect for her. I still enjoy her music from time to time but as a whole, I can't say I'm big on the girl.

Was this a publicity stunt? More than likely. But it was smart. VERY smart. Everyone knew she would say something sooner or later and what a better time than two weeks before your album comes out when everyone wants to hear what you have to say. She didn't really say anything more than what we already knew....therefore, we'd go buy her album to see if it reveals anything else...it was smart in terms of marketing, BUT i'm STILL on Team Chris! SORRY! :-)

Listen to Janet Jackson's New Single, Make Me

Listen to Janet Jackson's New Single, Make Me

SPOTLIGHT: Janet Jackson [Album/Label News + TV Appearances + Why Did I Get Married Too Trailer]

Most people know I am the biggest Janet Jackson fan you could imagine! From know every word to every song to even knowing all of her choreography! It's really THAT deep! So with the upcoming releases of her greatest hits album "Number Ones", I am so excited to finally see Janet getting back out there doing appearances and press!

Confirmed today on Janet's official website, on November 18th, Janet will for the first time allow cameras to come into her home for a 1-hour long interview special with ABC reporter Robin Roberts. The special will allow fans to see Janet discuss the state of her musical career as well as her relationship with Jermaine Dupri. She will also for the first time speak on her emotional state after losing her brother Michael.

The last time we saw Janet Jackson grace our television screens she was performing a tribute to her brother at the MTV Video Music Awards that absolutely floored everyone! But as excited as we were to see Janet she kinda went back in hiding, with the exception of her appearance at Fashion Week. However, along with the ABC special Janet will also be performing on the UK's "The X-Factor" on December 6th.

In terms of her music career, mega producer Rodney Jerkins recently announced that he had been working with Janet on her upcoming 2010 album. Without official confirmation, it has been rumored that Janet will release the effort through A&M/Interscope. But I don't know that for sure so don't hold me to it! I do know that Janet just finished filming her new video for "Make Me", the first single off the "Number Ones" album.

In other news, Janet's new movie "Why Did I Get Married Too", the sequal to Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" is set to be released in April 2010. Now I know EVERYONE loved the first movie and the official trailer to the sequal was released yesterday and i am TOO excited for it! It looks great! Check It Out!

Janet's Greatest Hits Album "Number Ones" will be in stores on November 17th, 2009!! 

ALBUM UPDATE: Chris Brown - "Graffiti"

Okay I know I'm doing alot tonight! I'm sorry! I feel like I haven't posted in FOREVER and now that I'm up and going well...you get the point. ANYWAY! I just got news that Chris Brown's upcoming album "Graffiti" has been pushed UP from it's December 15th release date. It's been moved to December 8th. Just in time to compete with Usher who will be releasing his latest effort "Raymond vs. Raymond" around the same time. Apparently Chris is having a hard time selling tickets to his "Fan Appreciation Tour" that I posted about a few weeks ago. I know me and my crew bought our tickets already so the album push up is PERFECT! By December 13th, I'll already knew every word to every song!

The album is to have the singles "Transform Ya" and "Crawl" (both of which can be heard here!) so make sure you guys go support my boy!

Oh and a quick SIDEBAR....if anyone really cares to hear Rihanna's side of the Pre-Grammy event, check out her "Tell-All" on Good Morning America on Thursday and 20/20 on Friday. I'm kinda curious to see what she has to say as I'm sure most of you are too so I'll be watching!

ALBUM REVIEW: Amerie - "In Love & War"

Amerie's third studio release (in the U.S anyway) "In Love & War" dropped yesterday. I've had the cd for about two weeks now and I've been really torn about how I felt about it. I've listened to it over and over again everyday since the first listen but I just couldn't figure it out. I've come to the conclusion that it's a pretty solid album. It takes a while to grow on you and you definitely have to be a Amerie fan to truly grasp and appreciate the direction in which she chose to go with this one.

                                              

Anyone who heard her actual third album "Because I Love It" will quickly realize how similar 'Love & War' is to it. Many of the same beats and a few of the same lines. Which to me was a shame because I'm always looking to see where she goes lyrically. However I think she accomplished her goal with this one. It's a true break-up album! Anyone who is going through hard times in a relationship or trying to get over an ex, this album will surely do it!

Check It Out! (Right Click To Open In New Window)

"Swag Back"

"Dear John"

"Heard Em' All (Remix)"

With songs like my personal favorites "Swag Back", in which Amerie talks about being in a positive place after ending a relationship and being able to move forward and get over all the tears and heartache, As well as "Dangerous", where she's talking about being involved with someone and being so into them that it's a bit risky! Some people were telling me they were feeling her track "Red Eye"...I on the other hand....not so much. It's kinda boring to me. I couldn't even tell you what she was talking about.

Overall, I like the album. It's not my favorite piece of work by Amerie. I prefer the "All I Have" album above it all. Her work with Rich Harrison was amazing. I know alot of people are hoping they get back together soon, and from what I hear that might be happening in the near future! Anyway, I'd say definitely go buy this album. It'll be worth the 10 or 15 bucks when the relationship is in a sour place and you need something to keep your head up!

Mending A Wounded Heart......

A short while ago, I found myself just kinda wondering why it's so hard for people to allow another individual in. Why is it such a fight for people to believe that someone could actually be interested in knowing them and enjoy spending time with them etc. A quote that someone once said to me came to mind. "Sometimes people build walls not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down". Then it kinda clicked....kinda.

I can understand that some people just go through so much that emotionally they are incapable of growing attached to other people because they don't want to be hurt. They don't want to deal with the pain of being disappointed by yet another individual who claimed they'd be there. I get that. But my question is, being on the receiving end of that how do you go about knocking those walls down? How do you say to them in a way that it'll be mean something "LOOK! I'm not them! I'm not the ones that hurt you....don't punish me for that! Don't push me away...allow me to be the person you never have to worry about hurting or betraying you. Give me a chance...let me love you like you deserve to be loved". It sounds like the perfect way of saying it, right? You would think so, but if you'd been through so much that you had developed insecurities and trust issues at the hands of several different individuals, wouldn't that all sound like bullshit?

India Arie - Ready For Love
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

So what do you do? How do you show them? How do you prove yourself? I can't stop asking myself that question. How do I prove myself worthy of a mere chance...it sounds kinda pathetic when you think about it, but I think it's one of those things when you know that you've worked so hard to try to gain progress in someones life, you gotta find ways to make sure your work pays off.

I read in a book once that when a man finds someone male/female (whichever your preference fellas!) that they want to build a future with, they know immediately. Even it doesn't reach a surface level as soon as it happens, subconsciously they know. With that being said, the book went on to say if the man has previously stated that he wasn't ready for a relationship, once he finds that person, he will make himself ready. It leads one to wonder "Are you THAT guarded or do you just not see a future with me?"

It becomes a complicated situation when you have one person so ready and willing to give love and another who has love to give but has such a tarnished past that they are hesitant to share it.

How do you help the person you want to share your future with get over whatever it is that holding them back from you???