Natural Progression....

After dealing with the last guy, I said I wasn't gonna discuss my love life anymore and for the most part I haven't. Not through blogs anyway. But I've had alot on my mind about the current situation I've found myself in so I decided to vent a little.

Sooo here's an update for ya! Lately, a friend of mine who I was once somewhat involved with in the past came back into the picture. I was so apprehensive about getting into things with him again because the last time didn't end so well and it took us a while to get back to being friends. However, I'd come to the conclusion that it took us so long to be friends because neither of us really wanted that to be our title. So we've been seeing each other and things have been wonderful. I don't think I've been this happy in a while. However, I find myself getting frustrated and rather stressed out because I feel like we should be moving a bit quicker than we are. For us to have known each other for the amount of time that we have, things are going...slow. Not that slow is bad, but I think what bothers me more is that he seems to be so hesitant and guarded from me. He has his reasons and I know them so I try to be understanding and patient but that gets really hard at times.

Anyway, tonight I found myself REALLY evaluating our entire situation and I've come to this conclusion.

The way we went about being involved with each other before was totally WRONG. In sooo many ways! The timing was just wrong. So now it's like getting to know him all over again the RIGHT way, if that makes sense.  Before we never had the opportunity to "date". Movies, dinner, chill at the crib and just talk etc...that NEVER happened. So the way I look at it, NOW is the time where all those things come into play. And I'm excited about it, maybe too excited because there are times where I see him kinda shying away from it all. But like I said, he has his reasons, but it leaves a sense of disappointment. However, like I was saying, after kinda thinking about and comparing how we were THEN to how we are NOW, there's a MAJOR difference. And being as though it's kinda like we're starting from scratch, I guess we're pretty much where we should be....probably further since our feelings are already pretty evolved.

But then it's like alot of those things don't really matter because as frustrated as I get with him for his hesitance, I can't deny how happy the dude makes me. When I'm with him, it's like I'm in a totally different world and everything's okay. There's complete sense of comfort and safety with him. I feel like a 13 year old girl cause I've been talking about him to anyone who'd listen for about 3 weeks now...

And with the fact that he's so guarded, he's also very open with me. He's trying. I know he's trying and that alone makes me happy and hopeful for what's to come.

I think the lesson is, even  if things are going the way I want them to go at that moment, I can't force someone to measure their comfort level by mine. I have to allow them to naturally progress to the point in which we can both be content and move to the next chapter together. It's difficult. The "baby steps" theory is soooooooo difficult! But i think it'll be worth it...hell i've been waiting two years now..it BETTER be worth it! lol