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Have you ever been in a relationship where the person reminds you so much of a love in the past but not in a good way?
I've found myself in that situation. They are just so damn similar and it drives me crazy. Like the guy I'm dealing with now is a great dude and I'm so aware that he's not my ex but I still see him doing things that my ex did and it truly stops me from really opening up to him and trusting him like I could and should.
For example, my ex and I used to really only talk late at night and sometimes we didn't even talk at all. That's how it is with this guy. Some days we'll go all day without hearing from each other. And I find myself saying "He used to do that same shit..." or, the fact that he has a really care free type of personality so when I bring up things, he doesn't really see "the big deal"...once again "He used to say that same shit....".
Typically, similarities between guys wouldn't bother me, but because my ex and I went through such a emotional rollercoaster which led to me finding out he had been dealing with another guy, I find myself wondering if they are so much alike, is he doing the same things too? Is the reason we might not talk all day because you're busy or because you're talking to that other guy all day? Or, do you really not understand where I'm coming from or are you just dismissing it because you don't care?
I hate comparing the two because it's not fair to him. Especially if there's no validity to what I'm assuming. He hasn't given me any reason to not trust him, if anything I've given him reason to not trust me. Which is also one of my concerns. I messed up in the past and I feel like since then he's been so closed off and it's becoming harder and harder for us to move forward. That's my fault, I know. And I think, "How do I have the nerve to wanna leave and say I'm fed up when had I not done what I did, we wouldn't be here?", and it's not that I want to leave. We're so different but every time we part ways something brings us back together. So no, I don't want to leave. I want this to work. But the odds are against us. That's just the facts. I mean, there's a pretty long distance between us (also like the other dude, might I add...) and the fact that we're just soooo different. We think differently, we act differently...we're different. But I believe differences in people are just ways to learn from each other.
I just gotta find a way to put those insecurities away and give him the fair chance he deserves and hope that he'll do the same in spite of events taken place in the past...start new? That's so much easier said than done......
I've found myself in that situation. They are just so damn similar and it drives me crazy. Like the guy I'm dealing with now is a great dude and I'm so aware that he's not my ex but I still see him doing things that my ex did and it truly stops me from really opening up to him and trusting him like I could and should.
For example, my ex and I used to really only talk late at night and sometimes we didn't even talk at all. That's how it is with this guy. Some days we'll go all day without hearing from each other. And I find myself saying "He used to do that same shit..." or, the fact that he has a really care free type of personality so when I bring up things, he doesn't really see "the big deal"...once again "He used to say that same shit....".
Typically, similarities between guys wouldn't bother me, but because my ex and I went through such a emotional rollercoaster which led to me finding out he had been dealing with another guy, I find myself wondering if they are so much alike, is he doing the same things too? Is the reason we might not talk all day because you're busy or because you're talking to that other guy all day? Or, do you really not understand where I'm coming from or are you just dismissing it because you don't care?
I hate comparing the two because it's not fair to him. Especially if there's no validity to what I'm assuming. He hasn't given me any reason to not trust him, if anything I've given him reason to not trust me. Which is also one of my concerns. I messed up in the past and I feel like since then he's been so closed off and it's becoming harder and harder for us to move forward. That's my fault, I know. And I think, "How do I have the nerve to wanna leave and say I'm fed up when had I not done what I did, we wouldn't be here?", and it's not that I want to leave. We're so different but every time we part ways something brings us back together. So no, I don't want to leave. I want this to work. But the odds are against us. That's just the facts. I mean, there's a pretty long distance between us (also like the other dude, might I add...) and the fact that we're just soooo different. We think differently, we act differently...we're different. But I believe differences in people are just ways to learn from each other.
I just gotta find a way to put those insecurities away and give him the fair chance he deserves and hope that he'll do the same in spite of events taken place in the past...start new? That's so much easier said than done......
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